We are the guardians of the living room rug. The avengers of hallway carpeting. The brave souls willing to bite the crap out of any vacuum cleaner we see. We stand vigilant in the face of HEPA filters and self-retracting cords.

We are the Vacuum Cleaner Defense League.

While millions of lives are threatened daily, our work will never end. No one is safe until we say NO to clean floors.


Meet the Members

  • Emma, 30
    Emma, Stranger Avoidance Division, C.O.O.

    I would love to throw my hat in the ring for this upcoming election (as I am very anti-vacuum cleaner) but I don’t actually like strangers all that much. I will be there in spirit however and I vow to support this cause with a campaign of relentless meowing.

    Just as soon as all these people leave.

    Emma, 5 yo

  • Warrior
    Buck, Tired of This BS

    I totally support the VCDL. I don’t think they can do enough. The vacuum scares me. Fireworks scare me. The UPS man scares me. I am not fond of thunderstorms, either. I’ll be under the desk if anyone needs me.

    Buck, 12 yo

  • Wolfey
    Wolfey, Senior Squad Leader, Rodent Control

    I take threats to my territory VERY seriously because the humans don’t know any better. Vacuums aren’t the only problem, lawnmowers are just the WORST! And don’t get me started on treadmills – How on earth do THOSE make sense?

    Wolfey, 11 yo