We are the guardians of the living room rug. The avengers of hallway carpeting. The brave souls willing to bite the crap out of any vacuum cleaner we see. We stand vigilant in the face of HEPA filters and self-retracting cords.

We are the Vacuum Cleaner Defense League.

While millions of lives are threatened daily, our work will never end. No one is safe until we say NO to clean floors.


Meet the Members

  • Miley
    Miley, Domestic Security Officer, Spec. Squirrels Unit.

     My people chased that vacuum around all day. Do you think any of them listened to my warnings? They did not. They could have lost toes! Or feet! They could have died! OMG with these people.

    I can’t even.

    Miley, 5 yo

  • IMG_7380
    Bailey, Shedding Squad Captain

    I’ve been shedding non-stop for four years straight and that vacuum cleaner still won’t die. I don’t know what else to do.

    Baily, 4 yo

  • IMG_7456
    Bailey, 2015-17 Worldwide Napping Champion

    I hate that thing. I was having a very nice nap and it tried to kill me. Now I gotta go pee in the back of the closet again.

    Lina, 5 yo