We are the fierce defenders of couches.
We are the bold that shrink not in the face of Hand Held Attachments.
We are the Vacuum Cleaner Defense League. And we have had it up to here with clean floors.
We suffer daily so that others in our families need not be senselessly menaced by these villainous appliances. Vacuum Cleaners (and sometimes brooms) are a threat to our lives and sense of peace and we will not stand for it.
Vacuum cleaners (and sometimes brooms) MUST GO.